Angry, Depressed and Overweight

Maybe its because of all the rain here or maybe it’s because I haven’t had a good nights sleep in a while but I just cant seem to get off my ass and get into a workout routine. Not even 15 min a few times a week.

Here is a list of excuses I used in the past couple weeks:

  • I’m tired, I didn’t get enough sleep last night;
  • The girls are busy and aren’t coming over to do our workout while watching sex and the city;
  • The house is a mess;
  • Its raining;
  • Work stressed me out;
  • It’s taco Tuesday, lets go out;
  • Its Wednesday, lets go to Hooters and meet the guys for the boneless wing special;
  • Its Friday lets go out;
  • My nice is at my moms house, lets go see them;
  • I have a headache;
  • bla bla bla.

You know what else has been going on the past couple weeks? I’ve been angry and really depressed. The sad part it we know exercising makes us feel better (among other things) so why don’t we do it more? Why do we choose food or other things that won’t make us feel nearly as good?

It took me so long to finally quit smoking. I think it was about a couple years from when I made the decision to quit until I finally just stopped for good. To be honest, I really needed that push from someone else because I wasn’t able to do it myself. It took meeting Robert to finally just stop. If I would have never met Robert I would probably still be smoking. The majority of the people I would hang out with smoked! Honestly, at the end of the day I just didn’t want it bad enough and it really was the bullshit lies I told myself all the time. “Just one or two a day is still better than what I used to smoke before right?” and “I will only smoke when I drink” Well…I drink a lot!

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I’m preaching to myself with this one. I’m yelling at myself! Apparently I just don’t want it bad enough. This “Afternoons With Apple” blog started last year before Robert and I went on our first cruise and it was supposed to be a community motivation to help me loose some weight before we went on the cruise. Well, in 9 weeks and 3 days we are going on the same cruise (just a different route from last year) and I’m still in the same boat!

I don’t want to be on this ship again and still look like this! I didn’t even go in the pool once!

It is so depressing to be on a ship with all these pretty people and yes I’m pretty confident and a person but I don’t like the way a look. So, a weight loss of 1 to 2 pounds a week is the typical recommendation. That’s healthy to do. I could try to do more which is not recommended for long term but I have to shoot for something. Lets set a goal for 3 pounds a week (OMG I’m thinking about eating right now as I’m writing this…ugh). If I can commit to 3 pounds a week that will put me at 27 pounds. Lets do it! I’m going to force myself to post and the end of every day to post my progress and my struggle.

Pray for me. 67 days to go!


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