I’ve taken quite the break from blogging I know. I’m definitely embarrassed that with all the yelling and hollering about needing to loose weight for the cruise, writing almost everyday about it and only loosing 3 pounds by the time we boarded really set me back. It set me back to the point where over the past few months I ended up gaining about 10 pounds. Now I know why doctors really push for the surgeries, because they feed of the desperation of people who are struggling to loose weight. My father’s doctor has been putting a sense of urgency in my dad’s head to loose weight for a few months now. On his last visit, the doctor began to plan the seed of the surgery to get my dad to loose the weight as quickly as possible. OK this isnt about slamming doctors and the whole health care industry even though I have some strong feelings towards it, this about how difficult it really is to loose the weight. Its not just about resisting to stuff your face with food that is unhealthy, its about a whole lifestyle change. And to be honest, I finally understand it when people would tell me that the older you get the harder it is to change.
Maybe it was the fact that we finally got engaged and I looked but they don’t make nice wedding dresses in my size without having to spend a ton of money to custom order it. Or it could have been after the weekend we went up to Disney and I came back in so much pain in my knees and ankles from all the walking around that I couldn’t walk for about 3 days. But something inside me made me so sad and angry that I just snapped. I argued with Robert for a few days (not my proudest moment) and then insisted we stop going out drinking and eating all the time.
When he offered me a cocktail, I began saying no. When he said lets go eat at [insert our favorite unhealthy bar/restaurant here] I would roll my eyes at him and I think he finally caught on that I needed him more than he thought. I way saying I needed his support but I don’t think he really knew what I meant until now. I needed him to not offer me things that were bad for me, because I obviously had a problem saying no. I needed him to go set up the treadmill (its the hand that folds and you can push out of the way) and encourage me to use it instead of suggesting we watch a movie. He finally understood (at least I think he does) that if he didn’t care, then I wouldn’t either.
12 pounds down…several more to go. Something is finally working. What did I do this time? Replaced the beer and cocktails with wine and I only buy nice wine so needless to say we have a wedding to save up for and so don’t drink that much anymore. I stopped packing sandwiches for lunch. I would leave the bread at home and chopped up all the ingredients I would have put in the sandwich and made it a salad instead. I stopped buying the Cape Cod chips to eat with my lunch. We hardly go out to eat anymore. I’ve replaced the pasta in majority of my home cooking with rice and quinoa. And most importantly, I jog on the treadmill a few times a week for at least 30 min.
I hate jogging. It’s so boring! So I have been watching Sex and the City from season 1 episode 1. It really is a GREAT distraction! Instead of just staring at the wall or at Robert drinking a beer wondering how much time has past, I watch an episode and next think you know its been almost 30 min. Then a good 10 min cool down stretching with yoga and I’m sleeping like a baby.
Moral of the story
If you know you don’t like to do something, find a way to work around it because the end result is really worth it…trust me.
You will never wake up one day and “feel like it.” Motivation doesn’t work that way. You have to just get up and do. Your body is designed to reject things it thinks is a threat to it. So you will never suddenly feel motivated to work out and eat food that you don’t think tastes good because you’ve made up your mind that you don’t like it. If you liked it then you wouldn’t be in the position you’re in now, would you?
Feels great to be back. Talk to you soon!